Entering Paradise Pleased with Pleasure

In the name of Allah, Most Compassionate, Most Merciful,

Insisting Islamic Intimacy

In some parts of the world marrying young is a social norm

IN SOUTH Asia and sub-Saharan Africa 38% of women marry before they are 18 years old. Child marriages, as defined by UNICEF, the United Nations’ children’s agency, are those undertaken by women under the age of 18 and include unions where a woman and a man live together as if they were married. According to a UNICEF report, most child marriages take place between the ages of 15 and 18, but in three countries, Niger, Chad and Bangladesh, more than a third of women aged 20-24 were already married by the age of 15. Such practices often flout the law: whilst the legal age of marriage in India is 18 around half of the Indian women surveyed were already married by that age.

It is reported that ‘Abdullâh b. Mas’ûd – Allâh be pleased with him – said:
If I had ten days left to live, and I knew I would die by the end of them, and I had enough time to get married, I would get married for fear of temptation (fitnah).
Sa’îd b. Mansûr, Al-Sunan article 493.

If he whose character and deen (practice of religion) pleases you, approaches you in marriage, then marry him, for if you don't, their will be fitna in the land and vast corruption. (Tirmidhi and others, see Sunan Tirmidhi #1085 and it is hassan (reliable) as per Sahih ul-Jaami' #270). ("fitna" here can be understood to refer to the temptation for fornication, enmity and the cutting off of relations among the people and relatives, and the spreading of hatred)

‘Ikrimah, Sumay’ and Kurayb report that Ibn ‘Abbâs – Allah be pleased with them – said to them:
Marry, for if the servant of Allah commits fornication Allah snatches the light of îmân from him, and may or may not return it to him.
Ibn Sa’d in Al-Tabaqât Al-Kubrâ Vol.5 p287.

There are three people whom God will surely help: a warrior in the cause of God, a slave who wants to free himself by a payable contract and whoever seeks chastity by marriage.


Unfortunately though, even after much emphasis from Islam on the importance of marriage, many people still fail to acknowledge its significance. A relationship between two people is not just supposed to be a short, action-packed romance story from the studios of Hollywood (which inevitably comes to an end sooner rather than later), but it is supposed to be a serious, long-term relationship in which both individuals are content and comfortable with one another. A relationship should not exist of a one-night-stand as is the case now especially amongst students of universities, colleges and even schools. A relationship should show that both partners are ready to sacrifice and endure for their partner; the way towards this is through marriage. Until the world realises the importance of marriage as well as its benefits and advantages, it will be faced with the endless problems caused by neglecting marriage.

Marriage and Masturbation
One type of indecent practise, which has crept into the youngsters of today, is the practise of masturbation. This is partly due to the fact that many people decide to marry very late on in their lives, (which is not in accordance with what The Prophet Muhammad
Islam has condemned the act of masturbation simply because it is harmful towards a person not only physically but also morally. Masturbation contributes to the weakening of the sexual organs. One reason why people do not think that masturbating is wrong is because that is what most people are led into thinking. I can remember very well from my time in school when the teacher actually encouraged masturbation by saying that one should masturbate whenever one feels the urge and that one should not consider it to be wrong or immoral. I myself found this fairly shocking due to the fact that I came from a background where acts such as masturbation were shunned.
http://www.inter-islam.org/Lifestyle/marry.htm

Three things you should not delay

It is reported that Al-Ahnaf b. Qays – Allâh have mercy on him – said:
“Restraint is praiseworthy except in three things.” People asked, “And what are they o Abû Bahr?” He replied, “Make haste to do the righteous deed, hurry to conduct the funeral of your deceased, and marry the girl in your charge to a suitable man [as soon as you find him.]”
Abû Bakr Al-Daynûrî, Al-Mujâlasah wa Jawâhir Al-’Ilm 6:307.
http://www.sayingsofthesalaf.net/index.php/category/marriage/#ixzz1Hg7Rziup


‘Do not delay in three things; 1) The offering of the obligatory prayer. 2) The offering of the funeral prayer when the deceased’s body is present . 3) The marriage of a woman when her couple is found’

One important purpose of the Islamic marriage contract is that which makes sexual intercourse legal. This is supported by various Hadiths and quotations:
Sahih Bukhari, Book 62, #81:[4]

• Narrated 'Uqba: The Prophet said: "The stipulations [in the marriage contract] most entitled to be abided by are those with which you are given the right to enjoy the (women's) private parts."

Al-Mughni (by Ibn Qudaamah), Kitab al Nikah:[5]

• ... the Prophet [said]: "The most deserving of conditions to be fulfilled are those by means of which sexual intercourse becomes permissible for you."

MARRIAGE, SAFE FROM THE DEVIL

A fundamental benefit of marriage is to be safe from the devil and to safeguard the private parts. The Prophet (Sallallahu Alayhi Wa Sallam) said: "If a man marries, half of his religion is saved. Fear Allah for the remaining half."

The Prophet (Sallallahu Alayhi Wa Sallam) said: "let one who is unable to marry fast, as fast for him is the means of controlling passion."

There is no benefit in a thing of which there is no pleasure. Allah created pleasure of the world with the object that if people have pleasure they will be eager to have lasting pleasure of the next world. To get this pleasure divine service is necessary.

Marriage is a means of saving oneself from the oppression of sexual passion. The Heart is the root of all actions of a traveller towards the next world. Ibn Abbas RA said: "The worship of a man does not become perfect without divine service. Man has been created weak." Akramah and Mujahid explain that man cannot be patient regarding women.

Race towards mercy of Allah and fight shaitan fiercely. Sisters helping brother is the greatest worship for females and thats because of the desperate need for good wife for the continuous gain of pleasure of the creator through more devoted worship and gain of perpetual pleasure. Urge sisters, parents and the community to make marriage far easier and flexible. Teenagers should be told about birth control and be allowed to gain their right of pleasure by marrying as soon as possible.

Allah says: "When there falls the darkness of night, seek refuge from its evils." The Prophet (Sallallahu Alayhi Wa Sallam) said: "0 Allah! I seek refuge to Thee from the evils of my ears, my heart and myself." He said: "I pray to Thee for purity of my mind and protection of my private parts."

The Prophet (Sallallahu Alayhi Wa Sallam) said: "If the look of man falls on my woman, let him turn it towards himself and cohabit with his wife, in that case his evil desire will go away."

Jaber RA reported that once the Prophet (Sallallahu Alayhi Wa Sallam) looked to a certain woman. He soon went to his wife Zainab RA and performed his necessity. After that he came out and said: "If a woman comes in front, she comes as a devil. If one of you sees a woman who pleases him, let him come to his wife as what is near that woman is also near his wife."


The Prophet (Sallallahu Alayhi Wa Sallam) said: "Do not go to a woman in absence of her husband as the devil runs through your veins like the circulation of blood." We asked him: "In your case also, O Rasoolullah? He said: "In my case also but Allah helped me over him and he submitted to me." This means: "I have been saved from the machinations of the devil."
~ Ghazali, Ihya ~

There are very few situations where it is permissible to speak about the faults of another person. One must be very careful not to let the existence of these exceptions allow transgression into sin. Some of these situations are:

1. to protect Muslims from the evil of another person, including situations where one is asked to vouch for the integrity of a marriage prospect

2. when the person being talked about does not conceal his violations of Divine commands

3. to describe any fault of a patient before a physician for purposes of treatment criticism about a narrator of traditions (hadith).

Easier for the men to lower gaze when married. They can have a greater vision for their Akhirah.

Sayyiduna Abu Huraira (Allah be pleased with him) narrates that the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) said:
When a man calls his wife for sexual intimacy and she refuses him, thus he spends the night in anger, then the angels curse her until morning. (Sahih al-Bukhari & Sahih Muslim, See: Riyad al-Salihin, No. 281)

Talq ibn Ali (Allah be pleased with him) narrates that the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) said:
When a man calls his wife for sexual intimacy, then she should come, even if she is (busy) in the cooking area. (Sunan al-Tirmizi & Sunan al-Nasai)

Abu Huraira (Allah be pleased with him) narrates that the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) said:
By the one in whose hands is my life, there is not a man who calls his wife for sexual intimacy and she refuses him except that Allah becomes angry with her until her husband is pleased with her.(Sahih Muslim, No. 1436)

The above and other narrations of the beloved of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) clearly signify the importance of the wife obeying her husband in his request for sexual intimacy. It will be a grave sin, in normal circumstances, for the wife to refuse her husband, and even more, if this leads the husband into the unlawful.

Imam al-Nawawi (Allah have mercy on him) states in his commentary on the Hadith of Abu Huraira stated above:
This Hadith indicates that it is unlawful (haram) for the wife to refuse her husband for sexual intimacy without a valid reason. Menstruation will not be considered a valid reason, for the husband has a right to enjoy her from above the garment (on top of cloths). (Sharh Sahih Muslim, P. 1084)
However, this does not in any way mean that the husband may force himself over her for sexual gratification. The Hadith mentions that, the husband spends the night in anger or being displeased, which clearly shows that he must restrain himself from forcing himself over her. Had this not been the case, the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) would have advised the husband to gain his right in a forceful manner.

Similarly, it should be remembered here that, the wife must obey her husband in his request for sexual intimacy unless she has a valid reason. She must obey him as long as she does not have to forego her own rights. As such, if the wife is ill, fears physical harm or she is emotionally drained, etc; she will not be obliged to comply with her husband’s request for sexual intimacy. Rather, the husband would be required to show her consideration.
Allah Most High says:

On no soul does Allah place a burden greater than it can bear (al-Baqarah, 286)
Many times it is observed that the husband demands from his wife to fulfil his sexual needs no matter what state she is in, and uses the above quoted Hadiths to impose himself over her.
If the wife is not in a state to engage in sexual activities and has a genuine and valid reason, and the husband forces her, then he will be sinful. Muslim husbands should realize that their wives are also humans and not some type of machines that can be switched on whenever they desire!
Finally, these matters should be resolved with mutual understanding, regard for one another, love, gentleness and putting one’s spouse before one’s self.

The Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) has reported to have said:
None of you can be a true believer until they love for their brother what they love for themselves.

May Allah swt grant us guidance towards perpetual pleasure.